Thursday, May 21, 2009

Extras

We had technically three songs we'd use as either soundcheck or encore filler, typically. We'd cover Lights Out just for fun and My Old Man's a Fatso, both from The Angry Samoans, a fair amount (esp. the latter). And then we'd do this one I think you'll recognize:

(To the tune The KKK Took My Baby Away)

I went out to eat for the holidays
Said I wanted KFC
But I never got fed
I never got fed
I never got fed, I say

I went out to eat for the holidays
Said I wanted KFC
But I never got there
I never got fed
I never got fed, I say

The KFC took my gravy away
They took it away
Away from me
The KFC took my gravy away
They took it away
Away from me

Hey
Ho
Hey
Ho

Now I don't know
Where my gravy can be
They took it from me
They kept it from me
I don't know
Where my gravy can be
They took it from me
They kept it from me

Ring me, ring me, ring me
Up the Colonel
And find out where my gravy went
Ring me, ring me, ring me
Up the Country Fried
And tell me
how I'm supposed to survive
Yeah, yeah, yeah

O-o-o-o-o-o
O-o-o-o-o-o

I went out for the holidays
SAID! I wanted KFC
But I never got fed
I never got fed
I never got fed, I say

I went out to eat for the holidays
Said I wanted KFC
But I never got fed
I never got fed
I never got fed, I say

The KFC took my gravy away
They took it away
Away from me
The KFC took my gravy away
They took it away
Away from me

The KFC took my gravy away
They took it away
Away from me
The KFC took my gravy away

They took my side dish
They took my gravy away

The end of the set - always

We'd always do this 2-in-1 to close out our time. The 2nd song here would come in, just for that bit, prior to the final rejoin of the chorus on the 1st song. I'd also use that break time to introduce the band members: Foil von FranksNBeans, Jerry Baloney, Dr. C.H.O.A.D., and yours truly, Glen Hamzinger. We always nailed this one (except when my voice broke once right at the beginning. Great timing, that one).

(To the tune of Last Caress)

Well I got something to say,
I ate a baby today,
and it doesn't matter much to me,
as long as it's fresh

Well I got something to say,
I gorged on innards today,
and it doesn't matter much to me,
Placenta is best

Sweet tasty death,
I've gotta have the worst breath,
Come sweet death, One last carcass

Sweet tasty death,
I've gotta have the worst breath,
Come spoiled death, One last carcass

Well I got something to say,
I ate a body today,
and it doesn't matter much to me,
as long as it's fresh

Sweet tasty death,
I've gotta have the worst breath,
Come sweet death,

BREAKOUT - CHANGE GEARS TO THIS SONG INSTEAD!

Butter
Spread on my toast everyday
From a cube or from a spray
Is it olean?
Is it parkay?
Butter

Butter
Can you keep my heart from working right?
No blood flow without a fight
Oh butter

And doctor
I can't seem to feel my left arm or right
Cholestorol has made me a sight
Oh doctor

Not about to start eating light
But if you wanna eat large with me
I can show you what it's like
Till your wheezing

Not about to start eating light
But if you wanna eat large with me
I can show you what it's...

AND NOW, BACK TO THE ACTION:

One last carcass

One last carcass, sweet death
One last carcass, sweet death
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh

Lyrics - Where Ladies Dare

Quite possibly the no. 1 crowd favorite here. I know it's my fave rendition out of all of them. I was darned proud of this one.

(To the tune of Where Eagles Dare)

We walk the streets at night
Let's go where ladies dare,
I'll pick up your big bar tab,
You pick up this big loser,
Through beer-goggled eyes and features,
You think I really care?

I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby, babe

An omelet made of cheese
Sounds real good right now
It's not that I'm fat -
It's an overactive gland!

I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby, baby

Let's test your threshold of pain
Let's see how long I last
That strange feeling from behind
Is my gut on your ass

Through beer-goggled eyes and features,
You think I really care?
Let's go where ladies dare
We'll go where ladies dare

I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I am one fatass son of a bitch
You better think about it baby, hey

Lyrics - We Eat

Kinda obvious but a good h/c one to throw in and rile the crowd up a bit.

(to the tune of WE BITE)

We walk the streets, no good to do
We eat
Just on a feast of fat and food
We eat
Omnivores live for pleasure
We eat
Strike out like Orson Welles
We eat

And when I get my food I inhale it
I eat more like a duck
I want more food, I'm never full
To eat some more

We eat
We eat
We eat
We eat

And when I get my food I inhale it
I eat more like a duck
I want more food, I'm never full
To eat some more

We eat
We eat

And when I get my food I inhale it
I eat more like a duck
I want more food, I'm never full
To eat some more

We eat
We eat
We eat
We eat

Lyrics - TV Dinner Casualty

Intro'd into our set the last year or so, good to have on hand for longer set times. Always hoped we could get our pals in Stay Tuned to close out the song with the I Love Lucy theme but it never came together that way.

We did, however, get to do the 7" non-guitar Misfits' version of She together at the show in Chico, CA.

(To the tune of TV Casualty)

There are green peas in everything I own
The vapor rub is lying on a table of filth
Checkup cards to which I never reply
Feel like I'm stuffed to my eyeballs tonight

TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty
We're all right
TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty
I wish they'd put Swanson in a tube
Hold on, I think I have to puke
There's a spot in the corner where I always go
I like to recycle the food that I know

But please don't take my TVdinner-'way
Please don't take my TVdinner-'way
Please don't take my TVdinner-'way
Please don't take my TVdinner-'way

TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty
We're all right
TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty

Two bucks a piece, they call this a deal
Still a cheap dinner, no cleanup
Tear off the foil, dig right in
Hard to breathe, peas stuck in my throat

Sponsors at the cemetery
Worms feasting on the fat in my grave
Coffin too small at your grave
"Curse the man who invented fried cheese!"
TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty
We're all right
TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty
We're all right
TV dinner casualty, TV dinner casualty

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lyrics - Some Kinda Meat

Not the most clever one we did, I'll admit, but it was a crowd sing-along fave - plus, it allowed me to dance like Elvis as we played it a bit faster than the original recordings. And, oddly enough, it is based on an actual doctor visit of mine. Gotta love it when art meets reality, huh, kids?

(To the tune of Some Kind of Hate)

There's some kinda love
For some kinda meat
Doc said my triglycerides
Were 888

And it's a whoah...
I said whaoh

Hear the cows cry
It's a call - just can't keep away
What they don't know is soon
They'll be on my plate

And it's a whoah...
Baby whoah...
And it's a whoah...
I said woah

There's some kinda love
For some kinda meat
I'm gonna tell you all about it now
Doc said my triglycerides
Were 888

And it's a whoah...
Baby whoah...
Baby whoah..
I said whoah...whoa whoa...whoa...

Lyrics - Private Bidness

Played this one straight ahead, Misfits-style for awhile; then we switched the music to match the Samhain version and that instantly made it one of our faves. I always had to check with Dr. C.H.O.A.D. if he could make it since it nearly always fell mid-way through the set. He'd blow out some air usually and gimme a determined, "Yeah," right back.

(To the tune of Horror Business)

Too much private business
keepin' me up at night
Bowel Movement #78
My bathroom is new
You, you don't go in the bathroom after me

Bowel Movement #78
12 o'clock, way too late
All this private business
My sinkers are black
You, you don't go in the bathroom after me
With you
I would not wanna be you
I'm warning you
I would not wanna be you

Too much private business
keepin' me up at night
Bowel Movement #78
My bathroom is fresh for you
You, you don't go in the bathroom after me

Bowel Movement #78 I'm talking about
12 o'clock, way too late
I say, all this private business
My sinkers are black -- it's true!
You, you don't go in the bathroom after me
With you
I've put the fan on for you
I'm warning you
I'll spray lots of Lysol
I'm warning you
I'll light a match just for you
I'm warning you
This is some na-sty ass stool
I'm warning you

You, nobody can do what I can do, no

Lyrics - Mouthbreathers

Here's one we never played out and, I think, only practiced once. Go figure. Might've been fun but I think we canned it 'cuz it's just "too long" (in Misfits' lore).

(To the tune of Hate Breeders)

Whoa oh oh
No
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh

Fat alters the way you breathe
(Whoa oh oh)
You make noise the way no human being should
Because fat equals cancellation
Next step: full cavitation

And heavy breathing's all you wanna know
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh

Not enough air penetrates your skull
(Whoa oh oh)
It's in your head and you can't clear it
Because you can't think of a time
When you didn't make that nasal whine!
Just try to breath for once through your nose
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh

Because I can't fucking take it
Next step annihilation

Just try to breathe through your fucking nose
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh

This is your crime; this is your fault
(Woah oh oh)
But you don't know because you're ignorant
Because when you try to break through
You're sucking my air, too!

And "Breathe Right" is all you gotta know
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
Whoa oh oh
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
And all you know
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh
And all you know
Mouthbreathers whoa oh oh

Double-shot Wednesday

Why? Because we like you - and because we always did these two back-to-back a'la the originals.

First up:

(To the tune of Mommy Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight)

Singled out the cooking that mean something to me,
Kingsford and Webber and a recipe
But I don't give a..., it's a blast

Studied TV every night
Watch Food Network so I'll be smart
People all say I'm a little fucked

Mommy I'm a good boy,
Mommy I'm a fuckin' master,
Mommy I've a goal:

Mommy, can I go out and GRILL TONIGHT?!

Throw on steaks with marbled fat,
Until they're seared just right
Red-blooded kids love BBQ
An ectasy of meat
I'll make the perfect meal
For it's my mommy's dream
Can I go out and grill tonight, grill tonight

Burgers, tofu, and kebobs
I use the whole damn grill
I could do this every night
until I've had my fill
I'll make the perfect meal
For it's my mommy's dream
Can I go out and grill tonight, grill tonight

Chicken, steaks, and vegetables
I'll fill up every plate
Every night I cook and cook
Until I get it straight
I'll make the perfect meal
For it's my mommy's dream

Can I go out and grill tonight, grill tonight
Grill tonight, grill tonight, grill tonight, grill tonight
Grill tonight, grill tonight

Can I go out and grill tonight, grill tonight
Grill tonight, grill tonight, grill tonight, grill tonight
Grill tonight, Grill tonight

And, no. 2:

(To the tune of London Dungeon)

They called us walkin' entrees
Living unprocessed meals
They wanna dice us up
Put us in all their pretty dish

Make sure your bodies clean now
Can't have no "Mad Cows" in here
All of us in here are clean, boy
All the shanks are prime and well.

I don't wanna be part of your London Broil
I don't wanna be part of your main entree
Ain't no mystery why I'm in misery in Hell
Here's hoping you'll swell

They called us walkin' entrees
Living unprocessed meals
They wanna dice us up
Put us in all their pretty dish

I don't wanna be part of your London Broil
I don't wanna be part of your main entree
Ain't no mystery why I'm in misery in Hell
Here's hoping you'll swell

Make sure our bodies clean now
Can't have no "Mad Cows" in here
All of us in here are clean, boy
All the shanks are prime and well.

I don't wanna be part of your London Broil
I don't wanna be party your main entree
Ain't no mystery why I'm in misery in Hell

Hope you choke in Hell
Hope you choke in Hell
Hope you choke in Hell
Hope you choke in Hell