Lyrics - I Turned Into a Lardass

One of the penultimate crowd faves - if this one didn't get you listening before you started singing along to the lyrics you remember then nothing would. Strong middle-set candidate, constant companion for us and most commonly used to demonstrate our concept: "See, instead of 'I Turned Into a Martian' we sing, 'I Turned Into a Lardass.' Get it?"

I Turned Into a Lardass (To tune of "I Turned Into A Martian")

Possession of a gut is a wonderful thing,
It's a transformation with an urge to eat,
Not the body of a normal guy,
Not a face with just one chin,

Whoa
Well I turned in to a lardass
Whoa
I can't even see my feet
Whoa
Sometimes gas keeps me up all night
Whoa
Well I turned into a lardass today.
I walk down city streets,
of a way-too-skinny human world,
Extra large in your midst,
A buffet is mine to own, 'cause:

Whoa
Well I turned in to a lardass
Whoa
I can't even see my dick
Whoa
Sometimes I really miss that thing
Whoa
Well I turned into a lardass today.
(chorus to end)